I enjoy free lance writing when I am particularly contemplative. The following entry was written after I came home from seeing the movie, "Becoming Jane." It just really pricked my heart, and when I got home I sat down on my computer and started writing:
Finding Love
I believe a woman’s greatest fear is that she will never find love. That she will never find that man who makes her heart both leap and drop. That man who lights up both her eyes and her future with love, hope, and promise. And to be equally requited in that love—well frankly, that often seems unfathomable.
“Perhaps,” one woman may think to herself, “perhaps I shall never find such love. Perhaps it doesn’t exist. Or worse even yet, that it does. And that I shall never delight in it. I may see great love and hear of great love and feel of great love, but to vicariously partake—why that is torturously endless.”
And though we fear--although we spend countless hours pondering upon and discussing the subject--we cannot succumb to its frightening freeze. We must move forward. We must move forward because of sense. We must move forward because of desperation. And we must move forward, because of that tantalizing hope. Hope. Yes that is a strange idea amidst such improbability. For how can the impossible happen? How can the quest for happiness bring us happiness today? And how can we answer all the “how’s?” Inevitably, our head and heart come out of our miserable storm cloud and our feet hit the stone ground of reality. We wake from our melancholy and try on a smile. And we learn strength, and the need to depend on ourselves. We learn to be happy without that man. Maybe what people say is true- that only through pain and loneliness can we truly appreciate love when it comes.
So, maybe one day you might be ready- and it just so happens that a new someone is in the room. And then, when perchance his eyes flicker upon yours, you will beam, burst, and bafflingly soar upon those wings of excitement and fly in that clear, fragrant air of the heart's purest ecstasy. Yes. Yes, that day will arrive. It has to- it must. So lock that up in an indestructible chamber of your heart and make the decision to love.
